My first post in 2018.


Hi my dears, I AM BACK!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin everyone.

I know... I know I'm late, it's already half of the year but how are you guys in 2018? Hopefully everything is great and we are gonna be brave and live with the passion in love to others and ourselves too. Yep I've been ignoring my blog for a long time though no one wants to read mine hihi. Aite I am currently in the feeling of writing, well I guess I gonna give a try?

I stopped writing in August if I'm not mistaken since I was busy preparing myself to further my studies in university. Alhamdulillah I finished my first year in degree and now having my three months semester break - I mean, two months left.

This is the current me /flips tudung

Back in August 26, 2017. It was my 19th birthday. My first day became a university student. I put few thoughts before entering the university. 

What if I screw up my first year? 
What should I do if I have no friends here? 
What if I can't adapt with this new environment?

Moving away to university means a big step for anyone and it's not unusual to feel homesick, aite? I remember that I dealt with homesick during my first three weeks in university. It was hard but thank god I survived.

For me, the first week of university was not quite fun. I really hate orientation week but thank god again I met new people which is now become my circle! Without them, I ain't got no jams there.

Lil did I know, my life was going to turn upside down. Why? I had nervous laughs, I was frustrated, stressed, and had mental breakdowns. Procrastination hit me hard like a wrecking ball and right in my face where midterms and finals turned me into a mad girl. //shrugs Life in university and life in matriculation is TOTALLY different. I really had NO idea of how to get enough eight hours of sleep. 

Anyways, my first year at university has taught me to get organized, yeah I know it's impossible to balance everything when my time is POORLY distributed. Time management is extremely important where I plan my day the night before by listing the things I have to get done. It gives me a sense of achievement when I tick it off the list.

My first semester was not representative of my program as the second semester. I took part in college club and even achieved my lifetime wish list - join volunteering activities. I am looking forward for my another chance to join more and more that kind of activity again!

Long story short, I was expecting to have another baby sibling this year but Allah knows better. Well my mama's pregnancy was unexpected though. She was afraid of telling me before because she was worried like hell if I could not except this. I was shocked and cried a bit, but I was a happy sister then! After a month, mama again texted me that she was hospitalized due to heavy bleeding. I asked her whether she had fall or not, but it was not.

I had lectures to attend on that day but I failed to keep on focusing. Ayah informed us that adik baby could not be saved, I cried entirely for almost two days as I was expecting very high to meet him during my semester break but Allah loves him more.

At first, it was hard for me to except all of this. I just can't understand what Allah's really want to happen, but I put my faith in Him. Allah knows the words I cannot say, the sorrow no one sees and the pain that no one know, but His help is indeed near.

Sabr. Allah knows what He is doing.

And most importantly, I learned not to give up and put away all of the negativity. Yeaah you know... negative mind will NEVER and EVER give you a positive life.

Al-fatihah to my adik baby.

In sha Allah we will see you in Syurga soon.



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